Published by admin on 21 Feb 2015

Lula Bird Dog Head

I haven’t wanted to talk about this yet, because I feel like a terrible person. And there are definitely some people in my life who will say, “yeah, you pretty much suck,” but here goes. We’re re-homing Lula. Today, actually.

We have struggled at home with her, most of it is her normal “dogness.” She barks at the mailman, she barks when the upstairs dog barks, she paces the hallways at night (which wakes up the babies), she thunders up and down the hallways during the day (which wakes up the babies), she wakes up way too early and wants to eat (which wakes up the babies way too early), she stalks the kitchen for scraps which makes Seth crazy (I don’t mind that) and she has been sneaking onto the furniture at night (which also makes Seth crazy).

These things don’t seem like huge deals, but there’s other stuff going on at home and I just want to try to ease the stress in at least one part of our life and since my sister is a saint and has agreed to take her, it seems like a no-brainer.

She’s so good with the boys, but we just don’t have the time to give her. People who don’t get it will say, “Make time! She’s YOUR responsibility.” I just can’t. I don’t have an ounce left. Working full time, with two babies and a stressed out partner has taken all of my time. It’s gone. There’s no time left.

Will Moses and Manny miss her? I think so, yeah. Will I miss her? Well, she’s been my partner through some of the roughest moments of my life, and looking at photos for this post sent me into a tail spin, so I think you could say yes. But do we need to do this anyway? Yeah.

Bye, sweet girl. 

Love Bug


Just chillin'


Things are looking up for Lula.









Published by admin on 02 Feb 2015

10 Months

10 months

Oh this little buddy had a rough month.  We had our first urgent care visit and purchased our first inhaler and nebulizer.  He was diagnosed with RSV and then got another cold and has just been so congested and miserable from the albuterol it’s been rough.  He also cut an upper canine and has three more upper teeth just starting to poke through, so we’re dealing with a baby who cannot help but be seriously cranky.  He doesn’t want to be put down, he doesn’t want to be held, he doesn’t want to crawl, he doesn’t want to sit still.He’s really only happy if he’s army crawling toward a pile of dangerous cords or outside in the park.  This baby needs stimulation.  Like whoa.

He gets up on all fours occasionally, but we saw a 10 month old at the park who was no kidding WALKING, and I was like, oh, Manny, get that lazy ass moving already, you’ll be so much happier! He’s so frustrated.

He’s babbling and I think just on the verge of saying real words.  I can’t wait to hear what he has to say for himself, he’s got a lot of explaining to do! 

Published by admin on 12 Jan 2015

Meme time

Hillary tagged me and I love a good meme.

1. What is my current health related goal?

I’d really like to feel less creaky and old, be able to get up off the floor more easily, and get my back sorted out.  I think stretching and strengthening my muscles is the best way to put that, but man, I hate yoga, so I’m looking for something else to do.

2. What is my biggest irrational fear?

I watch a lot of horror movies and generally whoever the bad guy in the last horror movie I’ve seen becomes my irrational fear, so right now it’s the Babadook.  But overall I think seeing a face staring back at me through a dark window is basically my biggest.

3. Do I enjoy wrapping presents?

I love the idea of wrapping presents, but once I start doing it, I get all mad at myself for not being better at the corners.  Why are the corners so hard?

4. What is my favorite cross-training activity?

What does this mean?  I feel like this meme is for runners so they mean some kind of non-running exercise, right?  And when I first read it I thought they meant cross-fit and I was all NOPE.  I guess I’d say I really enjoy kick-boxing.  It’s so fun and such a great workout.

5. If you came to visit me, what would we do?

I started to panic the instant I read this.  I always have SUCH a hard time planning stuff for visitors.  I always assume they’re going to be bored and hate everything I pick.  I think the big thing about Southern California is a. the beach and b. Disneyland.  So if you like the beach, we’re going there (even in winter it’s fun!) and if you like Disneyland we’re going there.  We can even do both.  Not in the same day though. If you don’t like either of those things we’re going on a restaurant tour of the city.  There are many.  And there will be cocktails.

6. I have two weeks off work and two round trip tickets to anywhere.  Where would I go and who would I take with me?

DUBLIN.  Seth is going with me.

7. What’s the most embarrassing thing to happen to me during a run or a race?

I had to think back really hard to remember embarrassing things that have happened to me, and most of them happened while I was training for the marathon.  The worst was when I fell in a giant puddle of mud and it looked like I shit myself.

8. Three best days of my life. Or at least the top three that come to mind.

I think it would be easy to say the day Moses and Manny were born, but Moses birth was so traumatic, so I’ll say the day we learned we were going to be induced was really exciting and the day Manny was born was pretty great too.  And the day we found out our IVF with Moses had worked.  Oh, and one more, the day I met Seth.  Still.

9. Okay, so I HAVE to eat a fast food meal.  Which restaurant do I choose and what do I order?

This meme doesn’t know me at all.  HAVE to eat fast food, like that would be some sort of hardship.  Snerk.  Del Taco, hands down, and I’d have 2 small green bean and cheese burritos, a chicken soft taco and a Diet Coke.

10. Have I ever met a celebrity?

Living in LA does have its celebrity moments.  I’ve worked with Tori Spelling, I met Johnny Depp at the SAG Awards and I told him I liked his shoes and he said “thank you,” also at the SAG awards I told Allison Janney and Tommy Schlamme that I loved them and they were very sweet and gracious, Isaiah Washington (at the height of the controversy) was super nice and way shorter than I expected, Judd Nelson who wore a giant trench coat inside and talked a lot about China, and Le@ Thompson and her husband are good friends with my husband so I’ve had dinner at their house a couple of times.

11. Share a picture of myself in non-workout clothes.

12. If I could choose to have a “do over” and switch careers, what would I choose and why?

I have said this so many times, lawyer.  I think I’d be really good at it.  I even thought I’d try to go to law school, but I started having school anxiety dreams and decided that I’m happy doing what I’m doing.  Next life me can do that.

13. If I won and Olympic gold medal how would I react?

Great big gulping sobs, I’m sure.  I cry so ugly.

14. What do I want for Christmas?

Next year? Who even knows.  I guess I can keep wishing for a small piece of land somewhere that we can put a tiny house on and escape the LA bullshit every now and then.

15. What skill do I lack? 

What’s the opposite of procrastination?  That.  I lack that.

I’m going to tag HollyJules (do tumblr people do memes?), and Carletta.

Published by admin on 03 Jan 2015

Q1 Closet assessment

When I was back at work at the end of December, after being off for 8 months, I had a huge wardrobe crisis.  None of my good clothes fit me, my maternity clothes are sad and old, and since I had to pump I was wearing nursing bras and tanks and trying to cover them with nice sweaters, etc.  It was only a seven day gig and I made it through, but every morning I was thinking, “They must think I’m the worst, look at these clothes!” So, this year, I made it a goal to go through my closet once a quarter and assess what’s going on in there.  See what needs to just go away, and what I’m lacking and try to fill in some wardrobe holes that my post partum but not POST partum body can wear.

I managed to get rid of a few things.  Target sweaters that I just don’t see myself wearing again, some older tank tops that are fine (but how many black tank tops does one wardrobe need?) and a couple of skirts and dresses that I’ve been holding onto forever, that just never really worked or I just don’t see myself ever wearing again even if I do get back to my pre pregnancy size.


Yes, that’s a photo of a nearly empty closet.  That’s literally all I have left that I can wear.  (Some stuff was in the laundry, but it was 3 shirts, a sweatshirt and a sweater that I don’t hang up.)


That is the pile of stuff I’m keeping but cannot wear.  Yet.  Which is why I need to do this quarterly.  By the end of the year I think I’ll have a better handle on where my body will eventually land and if I don’t see myself getting back into those sizes.  SEE YA.

How often do you clear out your closets?

Published by admin on 02 Jan 2015

2015 Goals

I think the word ‘resolution’ trips me up and for some reason ‘goals’ seems much more friendly.  (Sarah Koenig voice: All facts are friendly.) (Which has nothing to do with goals, but now when I hear the word ‘friendly’ I hear SK.)

Self care is kind of my code phrase for the year.  I’ve spent since 2010 trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, nursing a baby, being pregnant again and nursing another baby.  That’s a long time to not feel like my body is my own.  A long, damn time.  I’m not super looking forward to weaning Manny, but man, I do want my body back all to myself.  Anyway, here’s what I’d like to accomplish this year.

  1. Work at least 40 weeks.
  2. Quarterly closet assessment.
  3. One “no buy” month.
  4. Get everyone sleeping in their own bed all night.
  5. Quarterly pedicures.
  6. Quarterly acupuncture.
  7. Make and go to an appointment with the back specialist people and solve this pain once and for all or at least get answers.
  8. Finish a writing project.
  9. Eat more healthfully.
  10. Get my fitness level back to pre-baby.

That’s plenty.  Plenty, plenty.

Published by admin on 27 Dec 2014

2014 Recap

It’s that time of year! (for a recap meme inspired by Sundry.  My old recaps are here - 201020112012, 2013.

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

Had a second baby!  I have two sons!  That is really incredible. I

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

This is such a depressing one for me, I don’t think I kept a single one.  I don’t even want to link to the post where I first wrote them because I just so completely and utterly failed.  But, hope springs eternal and I will for sure be making more for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Me.  I gave birth!  That’s pretty close to me, right? Me is close to me.  Seth’s son’s wife had a baby boy, too! A few film school friends had babies and so many internet babies were born this year too.  The year of the horse was almost as busy as the year of the dragon.

4. Did anyone close to you die?


5. What countries (and states) did you visit?

Only America.  I think I’m changing this to what states did you visit.  We visited Colorado, Massachusetts and Maine.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? 

More than 3 months work.  Wow, I did not work a lot this year and we are broke.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 25th, Manny’s birthday.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Making it through without calling a divorce attorney!

9. What was your biggest failure?

Losing my temper too many times with Moses.  Two year olds! They are tough.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

My foot got run over by a Volvo and I had a c section.  That’s pretty injurious, I’d say.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new computer is pretty great. Tickets to Fenway. Basically that whole East Coast trip was great.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Student loans, credit card payments, my movie, childcare and baby gear.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Having a baby! And Serial.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:?

– happier or sadder? I’m about the same, I started taking happy pills and they seem to be working, but we have had a tough year and I’m ready to work on that this year.

– thinner or fatter?  thinner!  But I had a baby, so while it counts, it kind of feels like cheating.

– richer or poorer? poorer.  WAY poorer.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Taken better care of my relationship.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Get into screaming fights with Seth.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

We spent it at home, really low key.  Seth’s sister and his close friend came over for brunch and we had lox and bagels and champagne.  Next year I hope I can do a bigger thing, but it was really nice to not have to really do anything this year.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

I have quite a few actually, I love Getting On, The Comeback, True Tori, House of Cards, and The Fall.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I read a grand total of 4 books this year.  That is pathetic.  The best one I read was The Name of the Star.

21. What was your favorite music this year?

I really like that Hozier Take Me to Church song and a couple of other ones that seem to be in heavy rotation on my “alternative” station, but band names are so hard to remember now.  This is the most “almost 40″ thing I think I’ve said.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

I think I saw about 3 movies this year.  Gone Girl was the best?  But that’s not saying much.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Huh, well.  I don’t remember!  I think we had ice cream cake at work?  Or cupcakes?  I was 38. (oo! I looked this up, we went to dinner at a new to me restaurant, Seth hated the ambiance and I loved the food.)

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Oh man, I would have loved to have had a better year with Seth this year.  Two kids 20 months apart has really done a number on us and I cannot wait for 2015 where we work on us.  Like with a professional.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Same as last year but in reverse - maternity stuff and fat pants.  Man, I hope 2015 will be my year to get out of these clothes.  I am so sick of them.

26. What kept you sane?

Drugs.  Good god, thank you, pharmaceuticals.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.

Marriage, no matter how passionate and exciting it was in the beginning can be a real drag when you’re slogging through the early years of parenting.  It’s worth it though.

Published by admin on 27 Dec 2014

8 and 9 months

These past two months have gone by fast.  Manny is clapping and waving, eating and tantruming, still not crawling and not really up on all fours yet, he gets around by rolling.  And kvetching so that we move the toy to him or him to the toy.  He has our number. His hair is still just wisps.  I can’t say that I loved being away from him for a week while I worked, but it was kind of a nice little break.  He would be so tired at night when I’d get home and he’d immediately fall asleep.  It was heartbreaking and sweet.  He sleeps in his crib for a 4-6 hour stretch now and then another 2-3 hours before I bring him into bed for snuggle time. He’s a grade A quality baby. We just love him to bits.

8 months

9 Months

Published by admin on 10 Nov 2014

7 months

Well, I don’t know where the time went, but it’s gone!  He’s almost 8 months.  He’s rolling around, still sleeping like shit, popped maybe two teeth (maybe just one?) and just generally being kind of a maniac.  He throws tantrums, he laughs his ass off, it’s all very Manny. 

7 months

Published by admin on 18 Oct 2014

27 months - A Mosie update

Moses has been such a little champ, traveling like a pro across the country, going to Disneyland and behaving better than 90% of the kids there, and just being a great kid.  That said, we still have our issues, he is two, after all, but testing limits and acting like a spoiled jerk generally only happens in the privacy of our own home, so at least there’s that.

Like, Seth and I are halfway decent looking, but our kid is a damned model. How is that possible?

Last week, I could not for the life of me understand what Moses was saying, Seth had noticed he was having trouble understanding a few words of his too.  ”Curious George” and “construction site” were big puzzlers for us.  His vocabulary is normal for his age, but I was starting to worry about pronunciation.*  Here’s where I cringe… Moses was still drinking from a bottle at home.  So I decided we needed to stop the bottle immediately and monitor his speech, and see if it gets worse or better or stays the same.  I was dreading it.  We have put it off for so long, first because his doctor was concerned about his weight gain and wanted to make sure he was getting enough calories, then because we had a new baby at home and didn’t want to take away his one comfort item and finally because we’re big grown up fraidy-cats who were worried Moses would be a nightmare to deal with if he didn’t get his precious bottle.  So yesterday was his first day without it.  He asked for “regular milk” which means milk in a bottle. (Occasionally if he doesn’t eat a good dinner I give him Pediasure in cup with a straw and call it “special milk.”)  He protested when I got out a straw cup and said, “no, regular milk.”  I reassured him that he was in fact getting regular milk.  And… that was it.  He drank it and we haven’t spoken of the bottle since.  I MADE A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING.  Shocker.

So, Moses and food continues to be a struggle.  We have, I’m sure, made it way worse than it would have been if we had just been more relaxed, but because the pediatrician was worried about his weight gain, our alarm bells went off and now we have a food monster.  His preschool teacher told me he’s one of the toughest she’s seen when it comes to vegetables, and that is completely and totally my fault.  I don’t love vegetables, so I don’t really know how to prepare them.  I love getting fresh vegetables at a restaurant, but have no idea how to replicate that awesomeness at home.  My mom opened a bag of frozen peas or cut up some carrots or threw some iceberg in a bowl and called it done.  So, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get him to eat veggies without it being a battle and without having to do a lot of work.  Enter Jessica Seinfeld.  I bought her cookbook and tried one of her recipes.  It tasted so awful, I didn’t even attempt to give it to Moses.  In making that recipe I did a whole bunch of purees that I didn’t end up using because her recipes are super work intensive and the one I tried was gross, so I gave up on good ol’ Jess. Now, this is going to be elementary type cooking for you guys, so don’t be embarrassed for me, because I feel like I am WINNING.  Last night I made boxed mac and cheese (Annie’s…) and added sweet potato puree to it.  He ate it.  No complaints.  Emboldened by my small victory, tonight he asked for rice, and, since I am a terrible cook and lazy to boot, I have a lot of boxes of Rice a Roni (the San Francisco treat!) in my cupboard.  I started the rice, and added cauliflower puree to it. Then since it takes 25 minutes to do whatever it is it does, I sautéed some chicken breast tenders (first I dredged them in buttermilk and Bisquick, a regular Julia Child over here, whut) and cut it up really fine.  Then I sautéed some zucchini and also chopped it up super fine.  Just as the rice was finished, my sautéing and chopping was done.  I dumped it into the bowl with the wild rice and hoped it would work.  He ate an entire bowl.  I also offered him zucchini that wasn’t finely chopped and he rejected it, and then in my head went, HA HA YOU ATE IT ANYWAY, SUCKER. 

This is obviously not ideal, but I hope with time and persistence he’ll start to try things.  If he doesn’t, I’ll be over here sneaking purees and finely chopped things into his boxed suppers.

*Moses has been checked for an ear infection recently, but if we keep seeing issues, I’m going to take him in to get checked again.  He’s a silent ear infection-er.  He never complains about his ears.

Published by admin on 14 Oct 2014

5 Months, 6 Months

I’m just going to dive back in here and pretend like I didn’t just disappear.  Cool?  Cool.

Manny didn’t have a proper 5 month photo shoot because my camera was dead and we were just starting a crazy month and a half of travel and company and preschool and excuses excuses.

Here’s his 5 month photo on a sad old iPhone.

5 Months

Then 6 months kind of got away from me too.  But here he is. Let’s not think to hard about how a half year just flew by and how crazy time is, ok?

6 Months

So, Manny has been thriving, he’s rolling, he’s squawking, he’s generally either ridiculously happy, or seriously pissed off.  He has no in between unless he’s seriously trying to dismantle his world around him one strap or tag at a time.

He’s not sleeping on his own.  We thought Moe would be transitioned from his crib by now, but after having to retrain him with CIO, he seems super happy in there so we bought a new crib for Manny.  We put it in our room.  And he hates it.  So, he is still sleeping with us.  Rather, he is sleeping, and we are not so much.  I can’t wait to look back on this time in my life fondly, but right now I’m in the thick of it and it’s hard.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be going back to work soon-ish.  I have been getting pretty stir crazy these last couple of weeks, and yeah, that’s going to be hard on all of us.  We’ll survive, and one day look back fondly.

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